Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wednesday Workday - Finally Back in the Garden

What is it about Labor Day? Can Mother Nature read?

It certainly seems - well, actually "feels" - that way. As in so many previous years, August was hazy, not and humid; so many unbearable days; so many days hiding inside in the air conditioning. Then, "click".

Labor Day came and brought with it deepening blue skies, wispy clouds and - poof! - the humidity disappeared. It has been lovely this week and comfortable. So nice, in fact, that I finally got out and did some - gasp! - weeding.

The garden is in pretty good shape considering how little attention I have given it this summer. Twice-a-week watering has certainly helped, but like all well-established gardens, this one has held its own. And more than that, the fall blooming flush has begun.

Many spring flowers that stopped blooming early have decided that they have a bit more to say. Like the Evening Primrose, several of the clematis are blooming again. This one is particularly gorgeous with rich, dark blue flowers that are nearly six inches across.







The miniature roses are blooming again, too, and the first of the fall bloomers are starting. Last week one of my favorite sedums (seda? I think not!) bloomed. I can't remember it's full name, but I will. This one grows only eight inches tall, but is lovely.


The Obedient Plant has gone wild... as it is wont to do. The "obedient" in its name refers to the way one can twist or shape a stalk to grow in a particular way and definitely not to its staying where one puts it. It is highly invasive in this part of the world, so I spend a good bit of weeding time annually removing it from places where I don't want it. But you have to admit that it makes a lovely swath in the "understory" of plants, and it brings both light and color to a dark part of the garden.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Gift of Time

My senior year in college was the last time that Bro and I lived less than 500 miles apart. Although we attended the same college that year and saw a good bit of each other, his career soon led him to Georgia, while I have remained a confirmed Virginian. We love each other dearly, but we have not spent enough time together as adults to be close friends. So, it has meant a lot to me that he has pulled up stakes the past two weekends to come help out with closing Mother's apartment and preparing to move her to a nursing home.

Three weeks ago it looked like she would be returning to her apartment - perhaps with more "assistance" [as they say in the elder health care racket] - but that is not to be. Both her mental and physical state have declined rapidly and we are now looking for suitable nursing homes in both states so that one of us can be close enough to keep a good watch on her in the coming months. We will soon have to choose where and when to move her. Which leads us to cleaning out, sorting thru, and packing up what she's collected and saved in 80+ years of life. And, Bro has pitched in and been here to help with it all.

Last weekend he arrived prepared to move her to an assisted living space, but when it became obvious that she needs more care than that, he was right there to help. He was totally supportive of making the decisions as quickly as we needed to and moving on to implement all the details. This weekend he brought his wife and teenage children who helped pack and tote, and worked hard getting GrandNell's apartment ready to show. Mitchell and the World's Best Nephew carried out 50 loads of trash and filled the storage unit with packed boxes, while the World's Best Niece helped me sort thru clothing and linens and packed most of those boxes. My sister-in-law sorted out what gets donated to Goodwill and what we should try to sell first.

They visited with Mother and shared old family stories while sitting out on a sunny post-Earl afternoon. Bro and I shared remembrances, looked in amazement at the things she had saved - like every letter either of us ever wrote to her. Bro's stack was two; mine much larger! We found photos that we had never seen before and brought home four cartons to be sorted on cold winter nights! We found my grandfather's fez and my great grandmother's wedding shoes. Mom's rolling pin and the metal measuring cup that was used for two generations' worth of Christmas cookies. Her baby dress and mine. All of the handmade gifts she received from two young children... and so much more.

We talked for hours about what to do and when and how. We shared our thoughts and feelings and we got to know each other all over again. I suspect that we will see more of each other in the coming months because wherever Mother moves, one of us will be traveling a bit more often to see her. But, in a strange way this health crisis has given us all the gift of time spent together sharing and a new adult friendship. Not a terrible outcome at all.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Wednesday [Friday] Workday

Finally! A successful crop!

I've complained all summer about how hot and dry it has been and what havoc that has wreaked on my garden, so that I am almost hesitant to tell you about my big success - okra!

If you are not southern, you may not know much about okra. It's a strange looking veggie with a distinctive taste, that lots of folks never get a chance to eat. Good file' gumbo from New Orleans includes it, and extra good Brunswick stew. You can get it battered and deep fried at Cracker Barrel and S & W Cafeteria, but it's not the first thing that jumps to mind when someone says, 'Hey, what green veggie would you like for dinner tonight?"

Even if you are southern, you may have grown up [not] eating it in the elementary school cafeteria where they cooked it to slime. Not appetizing!

So, how did I come to grow it and to actually like it? Well, batter and deep fry anything and I'm your girl! We always buy some at a farm stand in the summer and fry it, but in May someone - I don't even remember who - gave me their leftover starter plants. About 12 of them. I plunked them in the ground, watered regularly and then came the heat and humidity. Voila! Okra loves it.

First thing I knew I was cutting a dozen pods a night and having more than I could possibly eat alone. You know how hard it is to give away your extra zucchini? Well, triple that. Clearly, we needed another way to eat it. So, I fell back on the southern tradition of okra and tomatoes, and after experimenting a couple of nights, I found the right combination. So, if you're game to try something new (and can find some fresh okra at a farmer's market), here's what you do.

Okra and Tomatoes

2 cups okra - cut in coins
1-2 cups chopped tomatoes
1/2 - 1 cup chopped onion
1/4 - 1/2 cup chopped green (or red) onions
1 Tablespoon of Canola oil
Salt and pepper to taste.

Saute' the onion and pepper in the oil until a little soft. Add the okra and cook for about 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes and saute another 5 minutes. Then cover, reduce the heat to medium low and simmer 10 - 15 minutes. Season to taste. (Serves four.)

As Flower Jane would say, "easy peasy"! If you really overcook the okra, it will become slimy. Promise! But 20 - 30 minutes total cooking time works fine. You can fine tune the onion and peppers to taste, and you may find that you like the okra a little firmer or a little softer so you can increase or decrease the total cooking time accordingly. Try it. You'll like it!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

One of Those Times of Life

I haven't written in ten days because my head has been elsewhere. I haven't been able to write about frivolous things, because I've been tangled in a family problem, and I wasn't ready to talk about it. Today I think I am.

Mother fell two weeks ago at the adult community where she lives. Apparently she took a tumble in the middle of the night - on the way to the "little girls' room" - and she lay there about 12 hours until Security entered her apartment to check on her. First, a shout out to both Security and to the members of the Little Old Lady Mafia (LOLM) who insisted that they do it. Apparently, like me, Ma doesn't miss lunch!

(I should stop right her and say that she did not break anything - thank goodness!)

They did everything right: the nurse was called and Mother was delivered to the health care center to spend the night and be checked out. She had some minor issues and blood chemicals out of whack, but seemed ok - until the following day when she developed ventricular fibrillation. That wins you a trip to the hospital when you are 85. Naturally, Mitchell and I were out of town when it happened and my brother is 500 miles away, but they assured me that she would be fine and that I did not need to rush home.

On that Monday, tho, I presented myself at the hospital in time to meet the cardiologist and the internist who agreed that for reasons unknown her heart enzymes and rhythm had both gotten messed up, and that she would be fine as frog hair in a few days. Oh, and as soon as we get rid of the pneumonia. Now, there's a word to strike fear in the hearts of children of 80-year olds!

So, medically they are telling me she will be fine, but did I mention that she had had moved to LaLaLand mentally? She did know me, but complained about sleeping in a closet (fortunately, from my perspective, a closet with a private bath) and having a clock that rang every minute. (We finally figured out that she meant the heart rate monitor, which they silenced so she could sleep.)

As children we spend a goodly part of our lives knowing - on some level - that our parents will not outlive us. But, suddenly that time line looks mighty short! Bro and I are burning up the cell towers trying to stay informed, give each other moral support, and make decisions for her care.

To make a long story short, this was just a warning. Mother is back at the nursing center recovering her strength so that she can return to her apartment - maybe in a couple of weeks. Once the drugs were out of her system - and her hearing aids back in her ears - her mental state picked up remarkably. She has returned from LaLaLand and the LOLM is visiting regularly to help build up her spirits and to give her the mental stimulation of conversation.

But now that we have had this warning, we need to start looking at alternatives and making some serious plans for the future. In a few more days she will be able to help with the decision-making and we will have a serious talk about Power of Attorney. [Anyone have a good suggestion for how I say, "Mother, we need you to sign this now!"?]

Gee, I feel better just sharing this with you all. Ain't like I'm the only daughter in the world that will even go thru this process - right?