A Good Day to Start

Today's the day for reflection:

December 31, 2011

Overall, it was a pretty good year.  Mitchell's little dance with cancer turned out ok.  He is passing the follow-up tests with zero's - which in this game is great.  The company I work for had a banner year, thanks in part to a huge project that Mitchell helped make a success.  The garden was wonderful, and a new cutting garden is already waiting for spring weather to grow.  I made peace with Mother's death and successfully closed the Estate.

Didn't make quite the progress that I had hoped on weight loss, but it was a wonderful year for exercise.  Friday I attended my 200th Jazzercise class!  Had set a goal of 150 classes for the year and just blew that out of the water!  Clearly regular exercise has become part of my life, now I need to work on fewer (and healthier) snacks.

December 31, 2011

Today's the day for looking ahead:

Tackling the weight loss thing is at the top of my list.  I shall set a new goal of losing the rest of the weight by [drumroll here, please] 12-12-12!  It's hokey, but we all know the value of goals.  Logging exercise and food and continuing to dance regularly are important here.

We shall finish putting our financial house in order so that I can retire someday.


I will make more time to enjoy the garden, especially the cutting garden.  And, most importantly, I will build the raised bed for sweet peas by February 15th!



Today's the day for appreciating those who support us:

December 31, 2011

All of you who visit the Garden Bench are at the top of my list.  Thanks for your friendship and support that keep me picking up the keyboard and the camera.  Thanks for your comments that encourage me and give me new ideas for moving forward.  Thanks for your time - you could be doing so many other things!  Thanks for your inspiration.  And, especially, thanks for your love.

For 2012 my resolution is to try to give you the support you give me.  You know who you are!  Huge, enormous hugs all around!

Loropetalum 'Pizazz' TM - Due in March, but blooming on December 31, 2011

There's No Place Like Home

There's no place like home.  I feel like Dorothy ... it was a lovely week in a little corner of Paradise, but I was so glad to get home to my own bed last night!  Apparently Mitchell was, too.  There is still an occasional snore coming from beyond the bedroom door.

We walked on the beach and watched the kingfishers fish.  We strolled and enjoyed the peace of the marshes.  We ate, we drank, we laughed.  The Colonel and Dora visited us for part of the week and we ate and drank with them.  Laughed a lot with them.  We even slept late and took naps, but still arrived home tired from the road.

We did small business shopping all week.  The best was a shop that sells only olive oils and flavored vinegars - The Oilerie.  You can taste everything before you purchase and then they decant it and seal it like a bottle of wine (no wonder I love that place!) and label it like a wonderful gift - one you give to yourself. 

There are lovely galleries and craft shops on Hilton Head, and clothes (of course).  So many wonderful restaurants that the difficult part was choosing just one per night!  And, actually, an excellent outlet mall.  We hit the latter on the way onto the Island last weekend and never went back.  I'll pass on Black Friday, thank you very much!
 

The best part of the week, tho, was exploring an old cemetery where we spent two days documenting the gravestones.   Located overlooking a marsh and deep within a gated community, this is one of the most peaceful places you could hope to visit.  The Colonel got interested in genealogy a number of years ago and spent significant time  tracing his roots.  When he discovered how useful tombstones were to that research, he also got involved in a neat project to document tombstones to help others find information on their family members and ancestors.

Find a Grave is a website where thousands of cemeteries all over the world are documented with photos of individual headstones and as much information as possible is posted about the people buried there.  The Colonel has posted more than 14,000 photos over the past few years.  Which brings us to Talbird Cemetery on Hilton Head.

It is an African American cemetery that dates back to the middle of the 19th century (or earlier) and contains more than 300 gravesites.  It is still in use today.  A gentleman who lives nearby has taken on the project of keeping the cemetery mowed regularly and cleared of undergrowth.  He is also trying to reset and repair toppled and broken stones. 

We spent two days photographing the individual stones, which The Colonel will now post to the website in the hope that others will be able to use that information.  We are now looking for information on two other old cemeteries that we might try to document next year.

We spent two lovely days in the fresh air, but ended up thankful that we could do something [ok, something rather odd] that will be helpful for someone who can't come to South Carolina and do it alone.  A Thanksgiving well spent! 

Implementing the Plan

We don't entertain - at least not CROWDS.  You know, a couple or two for dinner; once we had eight.  But since we moved to this smaller house [only 11 years ago] we have not had a big party.  But a big birthday deserves a big party... and Mitchell is celebrating a big birthday next weekend. 

Imagine putting on a party for grown-ups with a child's touch.  "Can I pick the guest list?" "Of course.  It's your birthday."  "Can I invite my tennis team?"  "Of course."  "And, Hank?  and the little girls?"  "Of course."  "Can we play bocce?"

So, it will be a blend of old friends and new, tennis partners, a few from work, family, BFF's, and the nice couple across the street.  About 20 in all, so not a mob, but way more than we can manage inside, so a picnic in the carport, with games in the yard.  Wine, beer, pulled pork, tomatoes, of course.  And a very special birthday cake - the honoree's favorite.

Menu picked, colors decided - hot lime, hot citrus yellow, orange and aqua.  Lots of Gerbera daisies to arrange [sorry, Jane, I shouldn't use that word, when I really mean "stick into available vases"!], enough plates and wine glasses.  I've collected votives in green (citronella) and orange and an assortment of small vases.  Plans well underway.

I spent the morning deadheading in the garden and then we spent the afternoon hosing down the deck, the driveway and the car port and washing off the yard chairs.  Elizabeth and her husband will be here on  Friday to help me with final details and a week from now we will be sitting down to dinner.  It'll be fun.  I can hardly wait!!

Wedding Flowers

NO!  I did not arrange any flowers for a wedding, but I did attend one that had lovely flowers.  Well, most  of them were lovely.

 The bridesmaids carried bouquets of roses, stock and a bit of delphinium.  I think the bride's bouquet was the same, but did not really see it!  oops!  With deep purple dresses, they were lovely.

The cake was topped with the lavender stock and delphinium.

The cake table also had this pretty little nosegay of the darker stock, with some of the lavender. 

And this was the altar arrangement that also went on a table at the entrance to the reception.

It was lovely - from a distance.  More stock in both lavender and purple, pink and lavender roses, something white (Jane will know what it is.) and lovely blue delphinium... that was well on the way to wilted by the time it arrived at the reception.  Delphinium does not grow well here, and I am sure it was brought in from afar, but it didn't last.  By the end of the reception, it was seriously drooping.  I am probably the only one who noticed.  [You all have done that to me!  I was also the only person taking photos of the flowers, but I did want you to see them.]

A good time was had by all.

Happy Birthday, Marn!

Marn is the second of my wise women friends. For nearly twenty years we have met weekly for breakfast - sometimes lunch and occasionally dinner - to share what's happening in our lives. We worked for the same firm a lifetime ago - well, almost literally - and for the same lawyer. Our friendship was forged in the trenches of Weight Watchers. We walked at lunch time logging many miles across the Manchester Bridge and lost untold pounds together - several times.

We celebrated new jobs and new houses, and mourned the loss of old jobs and old friends gone too soon. We've coached each other thru the shoals of relationships and compared theories on the Y-chromosome. I feel like her granddaughter is an extended member of my family, and she keeps track of my nieces and nephew.

She's the day-to-day, go-to BFF in my life and the medical consultant I turn to most often. [Like me, she got her MD from Readers Digest, altho I have to admit that she has kept her continuing medical education credits more updated than I.] She coached me thru Mitchell's knee replacement and I did what I could to help her with her new hip. We've compared notes on aches and pains, pneumonia and UTI's.

More than most people, she understands my need to excel and my frustrations when the job doesn't provide those opportunities. She brings me back to reason when I go too far. She worries about my immortal soul, and she makes me laugh.

So, enjoy the day, Marn. It's yours, so celebrate! I'll get lunch.

Old Friends are Still the Best!

Another lovely day in paradise and lunch with a friend. This time my former boss, who moved here when our company tanked 18 months ago. While the rest of us scrambled for new jobs in our "old" city, she and hubby took off for warmer climes and moved to Florida. They do have family here, including a mother who is happy to help look after two active little ones, but it also gave them a chance to start over with new priorities and new plans.

In the past, hubby had been Mr. Mom, while she was VP of our corporation and worked like it. Later as the children grew older, he joined us as a part time employee, while still coordinating the family schedule. Now, they have switched jobs. It is he who works full time outside of the home, and she who coordinates it all and spends the extra time with the kids. A win for both, I would say!

We met for lunch and a long stroll in Downtown Disney - only the mouse folks would find a way to provide food and shopping in a Magic Kingdom-like setting, so that one could enjoy buying over-priced food and trinkets.

It was fun to catch up after more than 18 months of the occasional Facebook exchange and a few brief emails. Her life has changed way more than mine, but I enjoyed hearing her new insights and seeing her so relaxed with her life and her plans. I was never sure that she would be happy as the stay-at-home mom, but she has carved out a new niche for herself, just as she did years ago when promoted to VP. A new side for this multi-faceted woman, who now collects projects to do, like she used to collect proposals to write.

Perhaps the most important thing she told me tho, was of her new appreciation of her husband and his work. After years of being the primary bread-winner, she has a new respect for his role as main provider, and for how hard it is for the single income family. Like many others she is learning to live within her means in this new economy, and to find that it really fits well and is a comfortable place to be. Another Wise Woman.

And, I really did need those mis-matched socks!

Meet Miss Ellie

This elegant lady is spending the next ten days with us while her family vacations on Cape Cod. They will have many aunts and uncles and cousins and other dogs all camping together in a state park on the Cape, but both the twelve-hour drive and the hubbub are too much for this lovely lady, so she is camping with us.

As you can see from her gray muzzle and paws, she is no spring chicken. A hand-me-down dog her family is not sure exactly how old she is, but something around ten seems right. It is nice to have her sprawled on our hearth, or under the deck in the shade while I was gardening this morning. It brings back the good feelings that we had for so many years when we had our own dogs.

We are told that Ellie likes her twice-daily walks and will chase her ball - for a while. She had not been here fifteen minutes before finding the lily pond. By "finding" I mean, of course, "getting into". Somewhere there is a terrified frog! The pond is not a good fit for her, as the bottom is quite small with a large potted water lily taking up most of the available space. But she apparently found it cooling enough that she did it twice!

We already know that she is afraid of shiny floors. Our carpeted house is great for her, altho feeding in the kitchen may be a stretch. We have put throw-rugs from door to door in hopes of breaking up that huge expanse of shine for her. It also seems that she is a bit spooked by the open back of the steps coming up to the house. Although we have four possible ways to enter the house all require coming up to a deck and she doesn't really like doing it. A cookie made the deal this morning, so I am not sure who is training whom!

Somehow dogs seem to bring out the best in people. We show them the overt affection that we sometimes are too inhibited to show to the humans we love. It's easier to touch a dog than a person, and you can tell a dog your deepest secrets without fear of their going any farther.

So, we will enjoy a new routine for the next ten days - walks in the early morning and evening - and a presence in our home. It will be like old times with Jack, or Buck, or Mocha. But when she goes home we will no doubt be happy to have our quiet little house become quiet again.

Geezer Bee

Who knew? Apparently AARP throws a spelling bee for the 50+ generation. It was held recently in Cheyanne, Wyoming. Really.

Wasn't the spelling bee the best part of fifth grade, and sixth grade, and seventh grade? I grew up in a Scripps-Howard town, so we participated every year. I wonder if children in this era of electronic everything enjoy it as much? The geezers surely did. The last two contestants went head to head for 30 rounds. Go, spellers! Maybe I'll see you next year.

Locovores

We made our first run to the produce market this afternoon. Imagine a city park with 200 year old oak trees casting much needed afternoon shade. Imagine twenty or so little tent-like awnings (the craft show variety) pulled into a circle around a parking area with trucks or vans pulled up behind them, and a wealth of fresh produce, bread, jams, sauces and the obligatory craft or two, hand-lettered signs and professional banners. Then imagine 30-50 people arriving in their cars with fabric bags and baskets in hand. And, imagine varieties of veggies that you haven't seen before, but which look tasty and tempting. That's our new produce market. Mitchell and I agreed that it's what we imagine small town markets were like 200 years ago with everyone bringing what they had to sell into town on Saturday and then buying what they needed to take home.

What we needed was a few strawberries to get us thru until our CSA produce share comes on Thursday. What we bought was strawberries, bread, more bread, and beets. Only the fact that we have plenty left from last week's share kept us from buying more. Everything looked so good!

We are already experimenting with "new" vegetables this summer. I have discovered kale. The last time I ate kale was [literally] at Sequoyah Hills Elementary School in the first grade. In those days the only known way to cook kale was forever. My grandmother used to tell me that to cook greens one had to boil them until the smell got into all the closets. The fine ladies in the school cafeteria certainly used the same recipe. The resulting green slim made it to my very short list of foods I won't eat - and I am not now, nor have I ever been, a particularly picky eater! My friend Elizabeth gave me a more modern recipe for kale and I like it a lot. That's one veggie crossed off the do-not-eat list.

Another new food for me is turnips. I believe I never had the opportunity to eat one before. Nonetheless, I knew I did not like them so they were on the DNE list, too. I believe this is a result of my parents not liking turnips. I am fairly sure that if parents don't eat something, their children are likely to inherit the dislike, since they don't get the opportunity to taste. I sauted them once and liked them fine that way, but really like them raw in a salad. Today at the market we found little turnips in both white and a lovely purple - definitely tempting.

We are still experimenting with Swiss Chard. It's the symbolic joke of the CSA group and represents all the veggies that we don't know how to cook. In fact, we have only gotten one meal of Swiss Chard so far. Mitchell didn't like the way I fixed it, but I have another recipe to try the next time we get some.

We do like beets and bought some today, but we stuck with the "normal" red beets. Another vendor had orange and yellow beets. Next time I want orange beets and a purple cauliflower. I'm really getting into this new food thing.

Other vendors had breads of several kinds - french baguettes, foccacio, various grains and sweet breads. Again, we bought at the first vendor and I wished we had waited. We could have bought bottled sauces of several kinds, and lamb or beef, or eggs, or plants, or cut flowers, or even barbecue! There were craftsmen with carved wooden bowls [very well done and reasonably priced] and stained glass [some pretty suncatchers], handmade jewelry, and several others that we did not really visit.

Everyone from whom we purchased thanked us for buying locally, or for supporting small farmers. That was an interesting experience, but it underscored for me that we want to continue to do it. While it's not possible all year round in our climate, we can certainly do it six to nine months a year. So call us locovores - at least until October.

May 11, 1984

What do you say to the man who has been your partner, friend, and lover for the past 25 years? "I love you", for starters.

I love you for sticking with me thru the thin days as well as the thick. For 14-hour days carving in the basement and driving from Virginia to Florida to Texas to Massachusetts and home again - with a dog and a trailer full of ducks. For canceling birthday parties and then rescheduling them. For finding a trailer to live in when we needed to leave Richmond. For being my rock when Dad died.

I love you for being there in the better days, too. For not insisting on your way, but being willing to wait until we can find a solution that fits us both - and teaching me to do the same. For nine wonderful years in a home that fits us like a glove. For road trips around the state and across the country. For showing me the glory of coral reefs, pinnacles, and black coral. For seasick days on Olympus and glorious days on Cat Ppalu. For skinny dipping on deserted beaches and walking on Hilton Head. For books shared and movies rented.

I love you for loving my family - sometimes more than I do. For embracing my friends and for sharing yours. I love you for our time with Jack, Buck and Mocha, and for adding the fish to the mix. For bicycling, tennis and diving. For diets shared and pounds lost - even when the were regained.

I love you for all the times you knew what I was talking about before I said a word, and for all the days we get to spend together now. I love you for telling me you love me every day. Twenty-five years has flown past like a few weeks. I am ready to sign up for another year.

Happy anniversary. I love you.